sharon's Site

 Within the confines of Illya's hospital room, there was a rather large gathering of people. April was sitting beside his bed and Mr Waverly was talking with Napoleon, about the case.

Miss Laura Fumes, Illya's head teacher was standing beside Napoleon and Miss Emily Swanson was conversing with Mark Slate as they stood at the other end of the room.

In Illya's opinion it was way too crowded in there.

Mr Waverly glanced around the room knowing it was probably useless to ask but…

"And now to get to other matters I'd like to propose that we all have dinner this evening."

Illya was slightly relieved, he was excluded from this dinner invitation because of his hospital stay. He wouldn't even have to bother coming up with an excuse. He watched as the others squirmed visibly, and he wondered what tales they would spin to escape Mr Waverly's dinner invitation.

"Well I'm er sorry er sir but Miss Fumes and I will have to er beg off…"

"Oh forgive me Mr Solo, I should have known. Well, just the four of us then…"

Illya noticed Mr Slate and his date slip quietly from the room. That's cheating, he thought to himself.

At that moment Bodie returned to the room.

"Have you solved it yet?" Illya asked innocently.

"No, it seems that no matter how much they investigate nobody at UNCLE can discover who faked Mr Waverly's voice on the communicator telling me to return to headquarters."

Napoleon coughed uncomfortably.

"I don't suppose we will ever know." Illya agreed.

"Anyway," Bodie continued, "I'll have to go now or I'll miss my return flight."

"Um Mr Bodie should we ever require your services again, please bare in mind that UNCLE is not made of money and we won't pay for you to travel first class. In future you'll travel economy like all of my agents."

"Yes sir." They bid their goodbyes and Bodie left to go to the airport.

Shortly after Bodie left, Raymond Doyle entered, and a thought crossed Napoleon's mind.

He whispered quietly to Illya, "It's just like superman."

"Excuse me?"

"Bodie and Doyle. They've never met each other. You don't suppose they're really the same person do you?" Illya sighed and didn't bother to respond.

"I brought you some grapes." Doyle said, handing the package carefully over to Illya.

"Thank you. Though I would have preferred the vodka."

"If you're a very good boy the tooth fairy might bring you one." Doyle replied.

Illya felt the bottom of the package and it was a little heavier than expected too. "Thanks," Illya smiled. "Have you thought about what you'll tell your boss about why his missing scientist is now a child?"

"Oh didn't Napoleon tell you?"

"Tell me what?" Illya asked glancing at Napoleon, who was making a big show of not looking at him.

"Professor Edwards agreed to be changed back right after you did. Apparently growing up again was even less appealing for him than it was for you. He's downstairs now waiting in the car. I'll be escorting him home."

"Just don't lose him this time."

Mr Waverly looked around the room somewhat surprised to find Mr Slate and Miss Swanson missing. His eyes, fixed on April, "Miss Dancer?"

"Oh I thought I'd stay here with Illya and keep him company."

"Of course Miss Dancer."

"Mr Doyle?"

"As much as I'd like to sir, I'm afraid I have a plane to catch." As he left the room.

Mr Waverly looked around the room with an air of disappointment, then his communicator sounded.

"Waverly here."

"Mr Waverly, there's a Major Cowley waiting in your office. He wondered if you might be free for dinner and a bottle of pure Malt Scotch."

Mr Waverly perked up visibly, "Of course my dear. Tell him I'll be there shortly." He closed the channel and addressed his men, "Well gentlemen and ladies, I must be off as well, I wish you all a pleasant evening."

Illya felt much more comfortable when Mr Waverly left. Now all he had to do was wait for Napoleon and his date to depart and then he and April could be alone.

"Well Napoleon I must be going too. I'll see you later," Miss Fumes said giving Napoleon a kiss on the cheek.

Okay now this is not what is supposed to happen. Napoleon leave, can't you see that three is a crowd? Illya thought to himself. "I thought you had a date lined up Napoleon."

"I have." Napoleon replied, "I arranged it for later on, after visiting hours are over."

"Why don't you go now? I've got April to keep me company."

"Yes I can see that. But I thought I'd stay, I make a very good chaperone. I wouldn't want you doing anything that I wouldn't do."

"I assure you Napoleon. April and I would never dream of doing anything that you wouldn't do."

"Yes Napoleon, doing anything you wouldn't do is the furthest thing from our minds." April agreed wholeheartedly.

"Illya do I have to remind you what the doctor told you about doing any strenuous activities? Not for several weeks, and as your superior officer it is obviously my responsibility to make sure you get plenty of rest." He pretended to look shocked at the face Illya made at him, "Now, now Illya don't make faces."

"Napoleon Solo," April shouted, "What have I told you about treating Illya like a child?"

"Why April, I do believe…"

As they launched into a bitter fight with each other, they both failed to notice Illya taking a bottle of vodka from the bag of grapes, which Doyle had brought him. He took a large drink straight from the bottle. Oh well, he thought, at least the tooth fairy came through with the bottle of vodka. Hmm, I wonder how quickly those nurses take to respond to the call button. He supposed there was only one way to find out.

The End

Start Humming the Man from Uncle theme tune now.

Cast in order of Appearance

Napoleon Solo
Robert Vaughn
 

Illya Kuryakin
David McCallum
 

Agent Masters
fictional character